that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize