This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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