He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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