i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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