i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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