i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
