the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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