Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
