We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
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I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
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Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize