Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
