I hope mine doesn't look like that
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
