The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
