I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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