dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
