Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
