yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
