everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
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