i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
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