we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
There's even glitter on my cock...
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