Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Less talking, more tequila
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
