Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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