Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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