Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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