He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
