just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
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