Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
it's like heaven, but drunker
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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