sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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