Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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