when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
