i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize