guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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