So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
this hospital has no fireball
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
