I wish I could punch you in the face.
i think my mom watched the whole time
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
