I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize