I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
