sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
