Where is the hickey?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
