she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
