Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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