I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
