do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
