i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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