well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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