dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
