Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
