omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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