its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
