How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
