you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
