I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
