I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
We have so much sex to catch up on
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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