marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
