yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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