just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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