just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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