me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Randomize